Confused no More.

I understand that this summer is about me and i take responsibility's on to myself


But i am not going to look back in 20 , 15, 2 years from now and thing man what was i thinking? I am going to look back and go " Damn it I had fun!" be able to hold the memories close to my heart the next time I'm sad.


I feel very alone today. I cried and I think that is what helped me decide. I'm not going to cry all my life! I am going to throw myself into it and enjoy every min!

Fuck the rest of it. if there is an issue I'll deal with it later!

Yesturday

OK so I'm updating, and I'm not having hormonal issues, yeah, but still confused about the previews rambling i did. More confused is more like it. anyway that is dealing in my own mind.

Still in Iowa, rock on, creeped out of the house last night from 12 till 4 don't ask why i just did.

My grand father passed away 2 years ago yesturday.
I miss him

parents still trying to get me a job, I'm still saying no.

making dinner tonight, flowtas or how every you spell it.

and have a movie date, how fun!!! I'm excited. going to go see live free or die hard, yeahhhhhh!

oh yeah i almost forgot








Peace out mother FU(KERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

confused.....

I don't understand me right know so i have seen 2 of my exes in the past 3 days. OK lets start with my 1st bf, he's gay. My 2ND is getting married, and my 3rd has had a child. which all make somewhat made cuz i feel like they are part of my pack. and that i feel left out. OK i just started to cry. you know i don't really understand what is going on, I feel so left behind, even thou i was the one that moved you know. I have a great guy, and we have talked about marriage and kids, so i don't know what all my crap is about but its there and I guess i have to deal with it. I am still very much attracted to one of my exes I hung out with him the other day. I had so much fun, the flirting made me feel sexy which i don't really feel that way at home. I had the thought of sleeping with him but i couldn't do that to my guy he does not deserve that. I love him i think. which is horrible to say. but hanging out with my exes made me have butterfly's and the excitement. cared how i looked. I feel like such a poser.

what am i to do?
i feel lost.
Help

plane crap.

Well the title pretty much sums it up. missed one of my flights and my day of flying only 7 hours went up to 18 yeah for me!!!!

....

18 hours

sence it sunday......

1 more day!!!!

I think i lost my hair????

What does ever one think? and i am very drunk can any one tell? yeah drunk pics!

...

2 Days

....

3 days mother fu(kers!!!!!!!!!!

....

ok so 4 days!!!!!!!!!!!

and wendy i will be going for 64 days, and good handle on that boobie!!!

.....

5 Days

How many ways to count?

Ok so i got 11 days till i leave.