Saturday, July 19, 2008

May the Goddess Hear me

SO i am just going to ramble which i guess is a a healthy thing to do every once in a while. so hey. I want so many things right now in my life witch i guess i could say are little gifts that i don't have them but i just so scared that i will never have them. If you have not figured out what i want is this : 1. A family, that does not judge me. 2. Some one that will truly love me. 3. Children. 4.I want the American dream i guess. the house, cars, just the dream of happiness and no divorce, growing old with some that will laugh with me as our body's fall apart..

scares me is that for that to happen i think i have to wash my hands of what i think is right and just walk away. and let what is mine or supposed to be mine to come to me. and what happens if i do that and nothing comes. Well its nice to know that my true fear is dyeing alone and the horrible part of that is that we all die alone, no matter what. IS a soul mate something stupid to wish for?


Dirty after work.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

So Whats the deal?

Well if your wondering what is going on with me to make so many changes. No idea here. just came to a point i guess where i was feeling about what i didn't do what i haven't done. What i might have missed. but what the fuck am i doing that for? I have had a great life some crappy spots but in the over all end, I'm not sick, dead, homeless or any thing like that. I can pay my way. that is good. I wish i was in love and maybe have kids soon. but that is all in the hands of fate. which i understand can be very humorous and cruel at the same time.

Now on things will be different, I want everything. I deserve everything that i can dream of. i don't need your approval in the end cuz i will be faced and judged by higher beings.

I used to become so angry so fast, now it takes a while i will feel sadness before anger now. I don't like it. not really, i understand the concept of it. safer for me.

A warning i guess for anyone who reads this. no one i think any more. but i will be falling off the radar for a few days. I won't be me when i come back.

warning you.


Sunday, June 29, 2008

In need

Ok so i feel very needy right now. i want love. ok heads up world. lets rock it!

right now

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

ow we

So on last friday i had 5 teeth removed, 4 wisdom "so i am now an idiot i guess" and one moller which was distroyed by an impacted wisdom tooth. but i have pics to put up none that are gross sorry forgot to take them, and i got a few storys and tails to tell.

and damn it i want to go to build a bear...... another story.

night and take your pain pills!!!!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.

Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.

And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.


Your Hair Should Be Purple

Intense, thoughtful, and unconventional.

You're always philosophizing and inspiring others with your insights.

Saturday, March 29, 2008


You Are 22% Pure

Pure? Sure, you're about as pure as yellow snow.

You're a downright devil. But you're also a pretty delightful one!







Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Son Of A B I T C H !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So i washed my cell phone last night, so please if you have my nuber call me or email me it please!!!!!!

Saturday, March 08, 2008


At point A you think that point b will be better but we all know that the grass is always greener on the other side. You run and run for what you think is what you want. you fight crawl and swear your way there. but what happenes when you don't even move? Run for your life. when you think you move and you don't even move, run for your life. Forward but never straight, I like that, growing forward is all ways the hardest thing to do, growing up i think might be the 3rd hardest. for when you grow up most people lose the innocence that we should all have. Not growing is the 2nd hardest.

What ever happened to being true?

Friday, February 29, 2008

To Be

To be one, A part

To be Two, A part of a whole

To have love true

To have love unconditional

To be understood

To be excepted for you

To have an equal

To be matched on all things

To need someone as much as they need you

Thursday, February 07, 2008

new friend

Like i said Wendy i would put up a pic.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Feb 1st.

Ok so i have no real place to start so yeah, boring here. I fell on my ass and just layed there on the ice. sad for me sorry no pics of the markings. nearly killed my self showering on tuesday night, i might put up the gross leg pic. um going to be drinking to night, got my dr jeckle and mr hyde bottles today, so hopefully i will still be drunk or i should be well rounded for the partying tommarrow night, good i hope i completely piss off my co-worker becuase i am just that much hotter then her.

ok enough of that.

i really have no news just a heads up that i'm alive.


Saturday, January 26, 2008

what made me me

What Made Me Me>>>>>>

Long ago and far away,> In a land that time forgot,> Before the days of Dylan,> Or the dawn of Camelot.>>>> There lived a race of innocents,> And they were you and me,> Long ago and far away> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> For Ike was in the White House> In that land where we were born,> Where navels were for oranges,> And Peyton Place was porn.>>>> We learned to help our mothers,> We washed our hair at dawn,> We spread our crinolines to dry> In circles on the lawn.>>>> We longed for love and romance,> And waited for our prince,> And Eddie Fisher married Liz,> (But no one's seen him since).>>>>>> We danced to 'Little Darlin',> And sang to 'Stagger Lee'> And cried for Buddy Holly> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> Only girls wore earrings then,> And 3 was one too many,> And only boys wore flat-top cuts,> Except for Jean McKinney.>>>> And only in our wildest dreams> Did we expect to see> A boy named George with Lipstick,> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> We fell for Frankie Avalon,> Kookie was oh, so nice,> And when they made a movie,> They never made it twice.>>>> We didn't have a Star Trek Five,> Or Psycho Two & Three,> Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,> And Chester had a limp,> And Reagan was a Democrat> Whose co-star was a chimp.>>>> We had a Mr. Wizard,> But not a Mr. T,> and Oprah couldn't talk yet> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>> We had our share of heroes,> We never thought they'd go,> At least not Bobby Darin,> Or Marilyn Monroe.>>>> For youth was still eternal,> And life was yet to be,> And Elvis was forever> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> We'd never seen the rock band> That was Grateful to be Dead,> And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson ,> And Zeppelins were not Led.>>>> And Beatles lived in gardens then,> And Monkees lived in trees,> Madonna was a virgin> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>>>> We'd never heard of microwaves,> Or telephones in cars,> And babies might be bottle-fed,> But they weren't grown in jars.>>>> And pumping iron got wrinkles out,> And 'gay' meant fancy-free,> And dorms were never coed> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> We hadn't seen enough of jets> To talk about the lag,> And microchips were what was left> At the bottom of the bag.>>>> And hardware was a box of nails,> And bytes came from a flea,> And rocket ships were fiction> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> Buicks came with portholes,> And side shows came with freaks,> And bathing suits came big enough> To cover both your cheeks.>>>> And Coke came just in bottles,> And skirts came to the knee,> And Castro came to power> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> We had no Crest with Fluoride,> We had no Hill Street Blues,> We all wore superstructure bras> Designed by Howard Hughes.>>>> We had no patterned pantyhose> Or Lipton herbal tea> Or prime-time ads for condoms> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> There were no golden arches,> No Perrier to chill,> And fish were not called Wanda,> And cats were not called Bill.>>>> And middle-aged was 35> And old was forty-three,> And ancient were our parents> In the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> But all things have a season,> Or so we've heard them say,> And now instead of Maybelline> We swear by Retin-A.>> And they send us invitations> To join AARP,> We've come a long way, baby,> From the Land That Made Me Me.>>>> So now we face a Brave New World> In slightly larger jeans,> And wonder why they're using> Smaller print in magazines.>>> And we tell our children's children> How life then used to be,> Long ago and far away> In the Land That Made Me Me

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Why is it when you need that little bit of extra compation no one is there????

I get it no one loves me.

*screams runs to the corner, curles up in to ball and crys*

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Bull Shit

SIOUX CITY, Iowa -- The investigation continues into the death of two girls found in a burning home in Sioux City on Sunday.
Police said the girls, Kendra Suing, 10, and Alysha Suing, 8, were the victims of a ritual slaying. Their stepfather, Lawrence Harris Sr., is charged with two counts of first-degree murder.
Police said Harris had been performing "some strange ritual" and told officers he cast a spell that went bad.
Police Chief Joe Frisbie said the girls were dead before the fire and appear to have died of strangulation and stab wounds. He said an official cause of death won't be released for several days.
Frisbie said the fire started in the basement of the two-story home.
Harris is being held in the Woodbury County jail on $2 million bond.

This pisses me off, he was performing a spell? OK i am pagan and do rituals and spells but i have never needed to kill children. this had nothing to do with a spell he is not right in the head. any one who kills is not right, even soldiers are not, they have to go threw training to do that, and once you go to that line there is no real way to get back not all the way. I am really way to upset to continue this right now.


Friday, January 04, 2008



The birth of Venus, beauty in a human size, she is not a 0 here, she is woman and curves! but man does not want that seen, for we must cover ourselves in lies so others may find us beautiful.
I enjoy being different even odd some days.


Doing what you love untill death due you part.


Thursday, January 03, 2008

go here!!!!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008


Condoms: Yep
Cell phone: yep
Chair/stool: no
Book shelf: no
Dresser: yes
Computer/laptop: no
Bean bag: no
Pictures: nope
Mirror(s): one
Skateboard: no
Bed: yeah.
Clothes on the floor: no my rooms spotless
Plastic flamingo: uh.................... shhhhh you werent supossed to tell anyone...
Surfboard: no
Smoke detector: no
Piano/keyboard/guitar/bass/drums: nope
Locking door?: oh yes
Bottle of water: a few
A blacklight: nope
Medals/ribbons: nope
Awards: nope
Sports equipment: nope. well my runnin shoes
CDs: a shitload
Hidden bottles of liquor: nope
Stop sign/any sign: nope
Caution tape: nope
Paintball gun: no.
Real Gun: no
Cigarettes: no
Books: yep
Nintendo: no
Xbox: nope
Stereo: no
Television: no
Lighter: nope
Gum: yip
How many Windows do you have in your room?:2
What color are your walls?: white
Hardwood floor, tile, or carpet? carpet
Do you get ready for the day in your room or the bathroom? both while throwing clothes all over my room haha
What color is your bed sheets? cream
What's on your walls? neither
Has the opposite sex been in your room before? um yessssssss


1) Single, Taken, or married?

2) Are you happy with that?
Yes and No

3) Would you still kiss your ex?

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?

5) Are you single?

6) Have you ever talked about marriage with another person?
with an ex

7) Do you want kids?
If i'm able

8) How Many?

9.) If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
damn straight

10) Do you like someone?

11) Have you ever fallen in love?
yea but i have also fallen out of love and in love again

12) Do you believe that you can change for someone?
its on your own terms you can yes

13.) Is it a good day?
for the most part

14) What is your "American Dream"?

15) Does your ex still have feelings for you?
I think so.

Day one

ok so today is my first day of Tax season (i miss you wendy!), and i am already on blogger, my updates should incress! yeah, so just to let every one know!