Sunday, September 30, 2007

Think about me

Ok so its been a few days but no i did not die. just not really a reason to type. I 've been in Iowa for around 5 day, had a birthday and thank you every one that wished me a good one. you bitches rock!!!!!

anyway going to go see a movie not sure which one yet. for we as in Iowa is under a tornado warning, yeah!

I went to the historical association annual fall fling today. i had alot of fun, made a basket. I'll put pics up later. i thought it was pretty neat.

doing OK, bored. had an interview on Friday and another this coming 3rd. i hope i get it. wish me luck. i need a job its hard to be here with my parents. pity for me. but then if i get the job then i can get the hell out!!!

anyway got to go. close to time to temp the weather and get to my movie.


Thursday, September 27, 2007

Happy birthday to me

so my birthday is today the 27th. sorry i have not been on just alot of altogether crap to deal with.

sad about today, wanted to do more but hey when you don't know people prety hard.

I'm 24 so almost a 1/4 of the way there.


Thursday, September 20, 2007

English muffins and diet pills

don't ask about the title it just came to mind.

Just remember that:


going to go cry.


Friday, September 14, 2007

Ice Tea and Hummas

So I'm here by myself which was kinda hard to do. I am eating by myself and it is nice. I'm having Hummus and a tall Ice Tea. It is so good sense with it being 102 out. anyway, my rant is back up, fuck what others think if its bad. I'll take your complements that is great. I like my self working on loving myself. but if you want to come here and pout then fuck off.

So my plans for tonight fell thru very up setting. the club we were supposed to go to is closed!!! Damn you DIDO! Damn you! anyway trying to figure out what we are going to go do. I want to get a few beers and some movies and maybe have an orgy. i think that would be fun!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH. that is to funny. I think right now that i am so HORNY that i would kill every one involved. but i guess i have more important things to worry about then sex right now. well i don't know if its more important then sex. sex is very important for a healthy mind and body. but that is a different day rant.

So i leave a week from this coming Monday. I think i will be fine. I know i will miss a few people from here. but really not that many. I could leave and not have a problem, which i know is bad of me but that is how i feel.

Well she was a close friend, we were supposed to see each other today. have not talked to her in over a year she moved to Florida with out letting me know. she is in town for the next two days. and she blew me off this afternoon. and i remember why i really didn't miss her. she did that the last time we had plans. just never showed. makes me feel like shit. just like i am not worth the time. I'm I worth the time? I hate how some people who are supposed to be my friend make me feel like shit and make me feel ugly when i am around them.

but you should see me today, i have gotten a lot of praise about how i look. I did my hair, make-up, heels the whole nine yards. I'm hott!!! but does it really matter? no one i was going to see can see me. so yeah, feeling a little like shit.

oh just a heads up I'm going on Day 4 with like 8 hours under my belt. weeeeee for me, things are starting to get really funny.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


I just want every one to know that if you come here to get angry or look down at me. Don't come here!

I write what i feel.

If you come here to read my posts, look at my pics, or see who i have as friends. That is fine but when you get to the point where you get angry about any of it, DON'T COME HERE.

This is a fun place for me to write, and post pics of people i know now, in the past, or hell even people i don't know yet. your know me I'm a witch.

so thank you
warning over.

True, True.

Free Comments and Graphics at
More Free Graphics at

All I want.

I know my life is going to be hard, when has it not been in the last 23 years?

I know that i want to love, but i also know i want some one who loves me back.

Free Comments and Graphics at
More Free Graphics at

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Deliverance in spite of this
What do you see if not me then who?
Is it a stupid girl or the leader of the new world
If you don't see me for me
Then see me for what I do not for what you hear
Speak to me not your boyz
To me as a reason for you being here
Ever think of that?
You think I'm just talkin but have you heard any Stuttturing of any word I've said


So in these words of mine don't hold your grudge
For you to stand there being nothin
Your not even known anymore
Your just a number that no one cares for now
Got to get up and see what is up there
Never known what every one thinks is supposed to be perfect.


The only animal I sleep with.

Pretty, True?

Lips to Lips

Lips to Lips,

Mouth to Mouth,

Comes the speaker of the shrouds.

Suck in the spirit,

Speak the words,

Let secrets of the dead be heard.


He's mad as a hatter,

Mad as a hare.

Go to the woodlands,

but be you aware.

Look for the ancients,

who shelter form storm.

but first you must pass throught the lair of the wyrm.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


OK so happy anniversary of 9/11. sad for people who have lost things and people.

but i have happy memory's of that day 6 long years ago.

enjoy what you have and treasure who you have, and fight for what you need.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

All Better...

So i am really pissed off right now. i feel so agitated that I'm numb. i have 14 days until my family leaves Iowa on there trip here. on Monday it will be 14 days until i leave. I want to have fun memories here but just feel like i am not worthy of them. tonight i am going to go out with a friend of mine. she will be bringing her husband that she is getting back together with. Do i take Doug? I don't really feel like that is the right thing to do. i really don't want to cause a big blow up. her husband is a really big jealous prick some times.

I feel so alone. Being alone is like Being stabbed. And baby I have so many knives in my Back.

I'll put up new pics later.
feeling unloved

Friday, September 07, 2007

a ~z

[A] - AVAILABLE? yep
[B] - BIRTHDAY? sep, 27
[C] - CRUSHING? Kinda
[D] - DRINK YOU LAST HAD? Vinilla Coke
[F] - FAVORITE COLOR(S)? Black, lime green
[H] - HOME? wha?.
[I] - like being sick? naw
[J] - JUGGLE? no clue
[K] - KILLED SOMEONE? I can't tell you
[L] - LONGEST CAR RIDE? Minn to New Mexico
[O] - ONE WISH? safty
[Q] - QUEER? wha>?ER*#&%^$#)$
[S] - SONG YOU LAST HEARD? dana cook
[U] - UNDERWEAR? right now? nothing
[V] - VEGETABLES? not so much. . .
[W] - WORST HABIT? swearing
[X] - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD? lots
[Z] - ZODIAC SIGN? Libra

11 people

1. ryan
2. norton
3. doug
11. bella

How did you meet number 4?
thru PSU
What would you do if 6 and 2 were going out?
laugh i think they are both funny
Where did you meet number 8?
at Sabines
What do u think of number 7?
she's hott
Have 3 and 10 ever met?
ummm no i don't think either of them knows the other exsists
What would you do if 5 Confessed they love you?
be weired out
Is number 1 your best friend?
something like that
Whose 10s best friend wit?
no clue
Do you miss number 1?
Is number 9 cool?
yeah she rocks like a party star
What is your opinion of number 6?
she is so sweet
What would you do if 1 and 4 were going out?
uh freak out. and left out, and most likly upset.
Who does number 2 like?
no idea
Do you have anything special with number 11?
she will always be my bella
Have you ever been inside 10's house?
Do you love number 8?
i don't know does 7 know about it?
Have you seen number 3 ever pee their pants?
no but i may be wrong
Have you ever kissed any of them?
do you have a crush on any of em ..?
something like that


1. What bill do you hate paying the most?rent

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?ryan's home

3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?not one bit i might even bost about it

4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?alot but in the end nothing

5. Name of your first grade teacher?no clue, i remember mrs. ferno

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?sleeping

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?doctor

8. What college do u attend?none

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?cuz it was in the bathroom when i

10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?ass rapeing

11. If you could move anywhere where would it be?Iowa

I2. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?DAMN IT

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?i wish i could sleep

14. Favorite underwear?my lime green thong

15. How so you sleep? on my tummy

16. What errand/chore do you despise?dishes, you never know what is living in them here

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?yes

18. Get up early or sleep in?sleep in

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?scooby doo

20. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?cuddle

21. Have you found real love yet?yes

22. When did you first start feeling old?when i started getting migrans

23. Favorite 80's movie?earth girls are easy

24. Your favorite lunch meat?honey ham

25. What do you get every time you go into Costco?What is a costco?

26. Beach or lake?beach

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?not at all

28. Do you own property?no

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?i could tell you but then i would have to kill you

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?double dragon

31. What's your drink?liquid cocain

32. Cowboys or Indians?i don't care i love costumes

33. Cops or Robbers?once again costumes

34. Who from high school would you like to run in to? I think Dixie

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?no idea, had to change the battery

36. Norm or Cliff?wha!!??

37. 'The Cosby Show' or 'The Simpsons'?simpsons

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? I wouldn't have said no, and
let him break up with me.

39. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?i don't work

40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?Christina Ricci

41. Indoors or Outdoors?both

42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?no

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?no

44. Last book you read? i don't really know

45. Do you have a teddy bear? blue zebra

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? middle of the forest

47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? all the beaches, santa cruz,
san diego

48. Do you go to church? no

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? i am
doing both

50. Just how old are you?23 and 24 in two weeks

Tuesday, September 04, 2007



Jason and Sara

Joseph and Lindsy


My feety.


SO this is some of my home made jewlery. I made my living over the summer in Iowa selling it. What does every one think?



Ok so Belated Happy Labor Day, WOOHOO on price of gas? I didn't think they could anal rape more then they were. I was Wrong.

But i had a really full weekend. started with a certain some one not calling me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but ended well enough i guess. A friend of mine had a party, she moved, new place. anyway. I went going I'm not going to drink, well that did not last long. I got there and with in i want to say 5 min i had done maybe 6 shots of stuff I'm not really sure what it was. Jason handed it to me. and i have to say he is one of very few people i trust to that existent. so I ended up staying the night, with Jason, Sara his girlfriend, and I. It was nice the first night i have slept more then 3 hours. It was just a big dog pile, no sex. just sleep. got up went for breakfast. that night was a friends of mine b-day party. so more drinking and fun there. ended up at home at around 1 or so. Sunday I went out with my friend Sabini, we went shopping. I have a new swim suit two piece. I totally ROCK it. I'll put a pick up of it. I most likely will not be in it for no one here to take the pick. It's hott! But the it was Buffy night over at Jason and Sara's home. we went swimming, Buffy and dinner. it was fun. Then yesterday was Halloween night. which if i would have know how it was going to be i would not have went. I was very disappointed. kinda wish i have those 2 hours of my life back.

going to put some picture up,
post later,


So here are some fun undes i know i'm a few days late.