Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Still working for The Generic Tax Place, and i love it even if i am getting paid less in the long run, but i feel better about my self. I like my clothes in the morning, i get to be girly and i am even thinking about wearing make up. I know a scary thought but i think I'll like once i get the hang of it and it does not take me like a half hour to do. and then having to do the hair, come on how do women do this every morning? And i know how just i don't want to get up 30 min to 45 min earlier.
I fit into old clothes, yeah. I fit my jean jacket better now then when i bought the freakin thing. which is good cuz i got patches to put on it. it will be awesome. and you will look at it in awww and wonder of the coolness. I know getting weird.
My truck is broke, and the car insurance is bull shit, but i guess i have to pay or cancel. most likely cancel, but have on my schedule for the coming week. great more irritating people to deal with. Goodie!!!
Let see i wanted to get something in my home completed, I got the bed room moved around yeah!!! i feel sick from all the dust and other crap that is now in the air. *hack cough cough hack * I got a big tote full of stuff that i can take to good will or La Pinon, its a place for battered women here where i live. I also got some of my living room made up. swapped two book cases and got all the DVDs together, and cleared out the TV stand and now the x-box fits in it, so that worked out well.
Then i moved the cat box so i hope that stops the random cat pissing in my home. cuz it's getting gross. but only on Doug's things which i think is funny.
Got a new CD. I know does not seem that neat i guess but i didn't ask for it and i actually like it which is a first. so Brownie points for Doug.
Up dated my Myspace. I know its a small blogging compared to Blogger but hey even with my blog being on Myspace so i need some one to read about me. So HERE is my link.
I get paid tomorrow night. Feed my cats my left over pizza, and i feel a little oggy. so besides that i think this month is pretty much done.
Peace out and see you next month...
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
any way I'm going to take the high road and not tell you the auto insurance company *cough*Fred Loya*cough*
i hope every one a great day.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
man i deserve a cookie or dinner or something.
thank god it's over. at least in my home.
Jesus camp is about a group of Christan's that believe that children need to be in gods army. but what happened to people getting free will. I watched this move and just watched the supposed teacher rip apart the children energetic systems so she could put them back together they way she thinks they should be. that is bull shit. if you can not tell by now that i am pagan. I am. so i believe in free will and that there is a greater good in the world i just don't call mine Jesus.
But this woman talks about god and how we should fast but she is like 350 pounds and if any one needs to fast its her. maybe she will have a vision of what she should be doing instead of doing what she thinks she should be. Because she is working the kids as she thinks it should be. Not what the bible says. and just to let you know that warlocks are Satan, and that they are evil as she puts it. So what i belive makes me evil, good that gives me more time to do other things, but warlocks come on, that is not going back to the burning times. Some one has issues.
And i don;t even want to start on the little kids with red tape over there mouths that say life on them. Come on i understand if you are Pro-life or Pro-choice, but don't take away rights of little kids. there kids let them be kids, they have the right to be kids.
Ok so there is my rant. go see the movie it was interesting, done by A&E.
Friday, February 16, 2007
The story ensues.
My mother is law has tried to kill her self many a times. and she thinks nothing of it once it is done and she is recovering. Its like a sick day from school for her. and she takes a winter retreat every year to the mental hospital. aw poor her we need to go see her so she will be OK. Fuck that!!!!!!!!!!!!! just kill your self and be done. the first time is taken seriously and after that is a look at me i need attention. And when she gets back home i already know what is going to take place. She is going to get attention for a while she might go to church once or twice, but then she will stay home and talk about how she is disappointing god and how she is a horrible person. she will yell at her son. maybe make a trip to Utah to see the grand kids when they have no money so that will help with the debt. and all the while she will be hot boxing the cigarette smoke she will have made by sitting inside all day smoking. Healthily for every one.
and right now my father in law is coming to get my car that he should have taken this after noon when he knew he need to run to go see her. but no i took it now i get to drive the van home when i don;t like that van and it reeks of cigarette smoke, and when i get the car back it will also smell. yeah i get to get sick from breathing that in.
man some days i think I'm in hell but just knowing that if i say anything to them they think i hate them. maybe i should hate them.
I'm confused and upset. my Brian hurts from the stupidity.....
better news later.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
so we get to the truck and butch listens to the engine which sounds fine. i continue to tell him something is wrong. so he fallows me in his van and i drive about 300 yards and i pull off again cuz something is not right. so he has me fallow him with me in his van and him in my truck and he runs it fine. but he is doing it just to amuse me. but something is wrong. he thinks it is my transmission fluid is low, OK so we go and get more fluid and put it in, still runs funny. Its making me nervous, so he tells me to see how it runs, still jerks some and make me nervous.
so i called my mom about seeing if she thought if my grand mother would give me a loan to fix my truck or to get a new *used* truck. but she said no. that bummed me out. so some what upset about that. I want to cry because i feel like i can't find which way is forward. and i had the urge to cut myself but i have been safe for like 4 years and i don't want to back peddle now. so i am resisting that urge.
any way i might give some one a call tomorrow for a ride.
peace out and see you on the fucking flip side!!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
but right now in my life i am working in tax prep. I will be starting school again in august. Right after my trip up to Iowa my grand mother is having her 80Th b-day party I think. SO looking forward to seeing my family *yeah*. I miss them a lot and my niece always want to talk with me and she should be 6 1/2 at that time. It will be fun to talk with her and find out her thoughts on things.
Now i live in a trailer with my husband that is my boyfriend of 4 years. I have lived in New Mexico for 4 years. How I moved here is a long story and I'll wait till the anniversary of that date and then I'll tell you about it. Nah I'll tell you about it now... I moved down to El Paso, TX on Nov. 1st 2003. met my b/f on the 8Th of Nov. 2003, moved in with him February 4Th 2004. to explain how that happened so fast here is the insight. My aunt thought i should have a job or be in school by the first of the year. which is fine but when i moved down i had no money, no car, and was starting over and if i did get to use one of their cars there was no gas in them *i had no money for gas* so going and looking for a job or getting to the college was difficult to say the least. I ended up getting a job thou my b/f in Las Cruces. So when i came home to get clothing i found my stuff clothing, Cd's, movies, and my cat all boxed up and into his home i went.
Here I am Today. When the topic is brought up she acts like it never happened. doesn't understand why i am upset with her. But i have always been a good actress, so the play with her i go.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
i'm upset and feel alittle unwanted. so that is bad i feel a whole lot unwanted. and like i'm ugly to my other. i don't understand but the trying to get some and the converstaion of what are feeling when i'm lieing there naked. come on. upsetting.
ok so i son't want to think about that right now but man i feel like crap
Friday, February 09, 2007
went to run and get lunch today, thinking it will take like 30 min to get there and back with the food. nope no happening no likey!! took twice that long and it felt like i was in the car for like ever and no where to stop to pee. thought i was going cross crounty, should have stoped to see my mother in iowa when i passed throu. then the food was cood and not even what i wanted in the end.
And then Murp! is like yelling at me about a cow puppet, well when i find it i might give it to you just becuase you yelled!!!! and just trust me there will be blogs about the others, yes there will be blogs.
I went on a shopping spree today to an extent, I got my needed year to day book *can't think of the title*, and some bath and body smell good stuff. I feel pretty oh so pretty i feel pretty and gitty and gay (well not gay as into girls but gay as in happy). English language explaintion later.
So when i get home there is going to be the start of the cleansing of the home. first is picking up of garbge, and getting rid of crap we don't need, then reorganizing, and finaly the bone fire!!!!!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
ok so i have a page on myspace, and i'm looking at pictures and i want my on personal photographer to fallow me around to take fun and cute pics of me. maybe i'll get doug to take them later i think that could be fun then after that of me feeling very sexy we could have lots and lots of sex. That sounds like a plan to me.
ok back to being upset and anoyed. what the f#ck man, today is just a long g0d damn day. ready for it to be over but i still get to go home and deal with that shit, too. One day i'll describe my house for every one. but for now here is a little exerp: there are 5 non- working cars and a boat that has not seen water in like 10 years, and don't forget about the pile of lumber that is in the back yard and has been in the weather so it is all worped and cruved.
ok this is not making me feel any better just more stuck and like i can't move forward cuz the crap i am in won't let go.
night i think
I riped a whole in my pants at work. and it would not be a big deal but these pants are the only pair i have that i fit.......
I could buy more or fix these but both are work and new pants don't feel as nice as old wornin pants.
man i need a hug and maybe a day off. Then there is a amber bock at home that is waiting for me so calmly. Man were is AA when you need it. *joking*
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Soooo. I had just writin this long post that most people would not want to read cuz of the boring topic but i lost it that just was just a complete waste of my time. which really isn't that big of a deal for i have nothing to do here at work. but come on that just plan sucked.
But for those who want to know what i was going to blog about here is a quick over view=
- listes for my home, getting tax money back gotta figure out what to do with it.
- gotta figure out what to do with spirtuality, i'm stagnet need to fix that.
- new car?
- trip in aug.
- and trip to disney land?
man i think my plate is kinda full right now i think i might just throw this one away and get a new one from the dollar tree.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
so any way wendy just let me know that mister stocky man is comeing over so i get to meet him this should be interesting. and to clarify about how you become mister stocky guy you call some place and ask when will so and so be off work, and its like um yeah if you come by at 7:54 pm you can get the jump on her and if you wait just 2 more min she takes like 45 sec to get her keys out that will be the most perfect time to stab her. good luck to ya she quick.......