Well where to start? I have things i need to say to some one very dear to me, I tried to write a e-mail last night during my crying season. Did not think it would be the bast thing. I don't want to seem like I'm crazy. and just the fact that at the end of it before i closed the screen i type in "I wish you could read this so i don't feel like your ripping out my heart every time i see you, but you will never read this because i will never have the strength to send it" how sad right. I only have 10 days till i go back then I'll be back by my birthday. so I don't even know how to proceed to the future. I guess if i say what i am feeling i can always get over it if it does not work how i think it will. Going forward to my only option, going back is not. I wish i was strong enough to just do what i want. I have never been this scared in my entire life, even when i moved down to New Mexico. What the hell has happened to me?
peace out to every one
and safty for Ryan.